12.9.08

The Dramatic Concert

I'm the sound technician backstage at a friends concert. My hands are on the mixing table, my fingers twiddle on the volumes and frequencies. All of a sudden, the sound starts cutting out, everything is sounding like shit, people start booing. My friend turns around to me, trying to see what had happened while I scramble to get things running again. The performers start to trashtalk the audience, telling them to fuck off while starting to destroy equipment. Things are starting to get agressive.

The music is now nonexistent, everybody is screaming and hissing. I motion to my friend for us to leave, and we run out the back door. My friend is able to escape, but I'm caught by the owner of the establishment, my boss, my childhood piano teacher.

- Miguel! What are you in a rush for? - She doesn't seem to know anything. Just my luck.
- Ahm, hello Mrs. Danish! How are you doing? -
- I'm fine, Miguel, how did the concert go? - I try to feign stupidity.
- Ah, nothing special! I mean... just technical difficulties. So! I have to be off now, see you later! - I dash off to meet my friend, and Mrs. Danish calls after me.

- I will find out what you did, Miguel! And I'll do my job, rest assured! -

I catch up with my friend, who has gathered a gang of thugs to do his bidding. I try to call them off, but they head straight for the concert hall. I'm dragged along in tow.

Before I know it, the whole place is in chaos, thugs harrassing concert-goers, Mrs. Danish and her husband are calling the police, while adolescents get beat up and equipment gets trashed. I yell at my friend.

- The fucking police are coming! Run! - The words are coming out of my mouth as huge, club wielding intervention police stream through the doors. People scream, fists fly, everybody is running. I'm able to escape outside and watch from afar. I think to myself:

- Well, I guess I'm out of a job. -

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9.9.08

Science Lessons

A lovely afternoon in August, a father and his son take a stroll through the park. Dogs bark, joggers whiff by, walkers and birds chirp in the trees. Junior asks for a balloon at a balloon stand, the father happily complies.

After a while, a dog runs up and scares Junior, who lets go of the balloon. He stares at the balloon, in awe, as it rises past the trees and disappears.

- Daddy! Why does the balloon float away? -

The father isn't phased.

- The balloon floats because of the law of buoyancy. The balloon is filled with a gas called Helium. Helium is a lot lighter than air, and so it's like the balloon is floating in a sea of air. -

Junior is quiet for a few minutes. Sometime later he spots a dog peeing in some bushes. Again he bothers his father.

- Daddy! Why does the dog do THAT!? -

Again unphased, the father responds:

- Junior, dogs pee just like us! We urinate after we eat or drink because we absorb the vitamins and nutrients we can use and expell the rest. -

Junior is quiet once again. A few more minutes down the path, and he spots a young couple, embraced and kissing on the grass. He points to them rudely and asks his father.

- Daddy! Why are those two hugging each other like that? -

The father hesitates.

- That, my boy, is Magic. -

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5.9.08

The Two Coinciding Dealers

Jason arrives at his small hometown, steps out of the bus, and checks his pockets. He’s gotten in on a great hash deal. Only 2 euros a gram. He’s out to make some money.
Josh arrives by car, in his trunk he’s got a good supply of marijuana, he also was able to acquire it quite cheaply. He’s looking to make some profit.
Josh and Jason both have coffee at the same place, being old friends, they start up a conversation.

“So, everything cool?” Jason says, good-naturedly.

“Yeah, long trip though…” Josh rubs his eyes. “I was up last night pretty late.”

“Whatcha been up to?”

“Aw, nothing much, studies, football, the usual. You?”

“Same old.” They both pause. Jason lights a cigarrette.

“Did you catch the game yesterday?”

“I only saw the first half, how did it turn out?” asks Josh.

“It was great! Arsenal’s was up one nil right? So they score another right at the beginning of the first half, two nil. But Newcastle scores like, two goals in 10 minutes, the game ended two two.”

“Wow, what a second half!” Josh looks hurt. “I should have stuck around.”

“Yeah, it was something.” Jason replies. They both pause again. Jason takes a drag on his cigarette. He leans toward his friend.

“You know, I’ve got some great hash if you’re looking for anything.” He winks. Josh answers quickly.

“Naw, I’m fine. But I have weed, want any weed?”

“No, thanks.” They sit quietly.

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The Impartial Waiter

A family sits at a table in a restaurant. They each look intently at their menus. Eventually, the father looks up to find the waiter. He sees a man leaning on the outside of the counter, absolutely unoccupied, doing nothing but stare at his mobile phone, and tap every once in a while. The father tries to grab the man’s attention. He waves his arm, even snaps his fingers. Looking frustrated, he finally calls out:

“Hey! Can we get some service here!?” The man leaning on the counter doesn’t look up, nor pays attention. The father gets angry.

“HEY! We want to order here!” The man leaning on the counter looks up and says:

“Huh?” The father is incredulous and getting red in the face.

“I said we would like to order, if it’s ok with you!?” The man is unfazed, and retorts:

“Oh, I’m not the waiter, I don’t even work here! But I think that guy does!” He points to another man, leaning on the counter, absolutely unoccupied, doing nothing but stare at his mobile phone, and tap every once in a while.

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DEUS É UM SEGURANÇA

Carlos, o segurança do bar/disco "Galactica" está à porta sózinho a fumar um cigarro. É um homem já com experiência de vida e alguns cicatrizes para mostrá-lo. A sua postura relaxada dá a entender que já esteve muitos anos à frente da Galactica, e que não se assusta com a minima coisa. Sai um rapaz do bar, alegre com os copos e a rir de algum acontecimento recente. Acende um cigarro ao lado do Carlos, saboreando a primeira inalação. Sauda o Carlos bem disposto:

- "Boas... noite mexida?"

O Carlos olha de lado:

- "Nah, isto tá fraco."

O rapaz insiste:

- "Pois lá dentro está um bocado vazio realmente."

Eles pausam, encostados. O Carlos, ainda a fumar, deixa entrar um casal bêbado. O rapaz ri-se.

- "Heh, então não se importam com o pessoal todo drogado?"

- "Pois, hoje não... mas tambem não há problema, sei ver quando alguem vai fazer merda lá dentro."

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